and now,this article seems to be adding fuel for my thoughts...
"Dharma & Greg" is one of the most favourite serials for me...somedays i wait till 11.30pm to see this and then go to sleep...
am i a person,whom i really don't know myself fully...:(:(
Aug 29, 2005
now it's around 2.00am...don't know why the hell am still awake?..but somehow cldn't sleep.
mind is really very strange...it's all in our hands to be happy or sad.
whole last week,i missed jogging/exercises and all the stuff..no particular reason.just one of those bad weeks,where u don't feel like doing.
i remember one of the episodes in "Everybody loves Raymond"...One day,Deborah will tell Raymond that she would like to be alone in the afternoon.Raymond wouldn't be able to understand...and actually Deborah would have wanted to be alone so that she can cry.:):)
it's like some planned crying session..and Raymond wouldn't understand it.
i think last week was like that..kind of moody.
And one thought which bothered a lot is,"Material Possession".
It's one of the curses of being in US and leaving after a while.
You tend to put a list of things to be bought for home.
And frankly,if i see that list,there is not even a single item which is the basic essential...it's all those stuff,which are good to have and further enhancements.
and the problem is,we never settle for less..and at the same we never have enough money to get the best.
it's like,our mind is set for Bose audio system,but u settle for something less..
This might be the basic factor behind the thriving of US Economy.I remember one of my colleague telling about Credit Cards.
I am one of those people who pay 100% of the creditcard expenses every month..For me,getting a loan is ok,but it is totally wrong to owe creditcard company.infact even if my credit card swipings are too much,at the back of the mind,expenses are always calculated and purchases are made only as per the bank balance.even this
means that the balance would become 0...but i never liked it to be negative,where i owe something to the credit card company at the end of the payment.i tend to wait till 15th of that month and then buy it,in that way,we get to pay it after one month.
But my colleague was mentioning that in US,he always pays only 85% of the credit card charges...in that way,he'll always have the Rolling balance,and thats what the system expects everybody to do here..so once in every quarter or so,he'll get another additional card for free...in this way,he gets cards and also the loan to buy things.
How strange right? When i heard this,the only thing which came to mind is a Recursive logic which has a very fragile exit condition..:):)
and no wonder,we see so many ads in TV here,where they give u loan to pay the creditcard debts.
And if we think deeply,all this is because the system has made people to buy more things here,even at the expense of having debt...
It's so scary...there is no end to this possession...new things will keep on coming..and the obsession will keep on growing.
Is this Obsession,the reason behind Buddha's last words,"Impermanent are all created things;Strive on with awareness." and he preached not to have Material obsession.?
I have been thinking...and not able to conclude anything.Best conclusion is,"i should stop thinking"..but not able to.
I think there is some scariness in mind...going forward,all our life will be based on these Material Possession...our earnings and everything will be towards it's satiation..and that "towards goal" is going to be a moving target.
I had always felt that everybody should have some goal,some desire in life and work towards it...but now am not sure.
why do we need to put ourselves some high up goals and strive towards it...why can't we be content?
but if we are content,then there is no progress...so it's not possible to be content.
so is this the rootcause for competition?
some people succeed in achieving their goals and some people don't.
and am i stuck,in this spiral? i might be succeeding so far,but there is always a chance of failure.
or is my thinking wrong? once i go back to India,i might not need to think of all these complex stuff..does that mean,am running away from these thoughts?
why is it that am not getting answers to these thinkings?Or is there an answer and i am not able to accept it?
mind is really very strange...it's all in our hands to be happy or sad.
whole last week,i missed jogging/exercises and all the stuff..no particular reason.just one of those bad weeks,where u don't feel like doing.
i remember one of the episodes in "Everybody loves Raymond"...One day,Deborah will tell Raymond that she would like to be alone in the afternoon.Raymond wouldn't be able to understand...and actually Deborah would have wanted to be alone so that she can cry.:):)
it's like some planned crying session..and Raymond wouldn't understand it.
i think last week was like that..kind of moody.
And one thought which bothered a lot is,"Material Possession".
It's one of the curses of being in US and leaving after a while.
You tend to put a list of things to be bought for home.
And frankly,if i see that list,there is not even a single item which is the basic essential...it's all those stuff,which are good to have and further enhancements.
and the problem is,we never settle for less..and at the same we never have enough money to get the best.
it's like,our mind is set for Bose audio system,but u settle for something less..
This might be the basic factor behind the thriving of US Economy.I remember one of my colleague telling about Credit Cards.
I am one of those people who pay 100% of the creditcard expenses every month..For me,getting a loan is ok,but it is totally wrong to owe creditcard company.infact even if my credit card swipings are too much,at the back of the mind,expenses are always calculated and purchases are made only as per the bank balance.even this
means that the balance would become 0...but i never liked it to be negative,where i owe something to the credit card company at the end of the payment.i tend to wait till 15th of that month and then buy it,in that way,we get to pay it after one month.
But my colleague was mentioning that in US,he always pays only 85% of the credit card charges...in that way,he'll always have the Rolling balance,and thats what the system expects everybody to do here..so once in every quarter or so,he'll get another additional card for free...in this way,he gets cards and also the loan to buy things.
How strange right? When i heard this,the only thing which came to mind is a Recursive logic which has a very fragile exit condition..:):)
and no wonder,we see so many ads in TV here,where they give u loan to pay the creditcard debts.
And if we think deeply,all this is because the system has made people to buy more things here,even at the expense of having debt...
It's so scary...there is no end to this possession...new things will keep on coming..and the obsession will keep on growing.
Is this Obsession,the reason behind Buddha's last words,"Impermanent are all created things;Strive on with awareness." and he preached not to have Material obsession.?
I have been thinking...and not able to conclude anything.Best conclusion is,"i should stop thinking"..but not able to.
I think there is some scariness in mind...going forward,all our life will be based on these Material Possession...our earnings and everything will be towards it's satiation..and that "towards goal" is going to be a moving target.
I had always felt that everybody should have some goal,some desire in life and work towards it...but now am not sure.
why do we need to put ourselves some high up goals and strive towards it...why can't we be content?
but if we are content,then there is no progress...so it's not possible to be content.
so is this the rootcause for competition?
some people succeed in achieving their goals and some people don't.
and am i stuck,in this spiral? i might be succeeding so far,but there is always a chance of failure.
or is my thinking wrong? once i go back to India,i might not need to think of all these complex stuff..does that mean,am running away from these thoughts?
why is it that am not getting answers to these thinkings?Or is there an answer and i am not able to accept it?
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