Waiting for some result or some response or some event is like having consumed a slow poison! It kills a person part by part!!
One keeps wondering whether everything was done right...the whole event gets rehearsed in mind 100 times...a small doubt can really move one into complete depression...did i answer that question correctly?...oh, i missed that point...did i really write the correct date in that form?...oh, i guess i submitted a statement which was more than 7 days olds...
On top of all this, when there has been string of failures, one gets into a self doubt..
Frankly, the mood can swing quite erratically in this waiting period and others will never know or can never really understand why we are like this...
Also,there are just so many known and unknown factors affecting a decision and this is exactly the reason one tends to believe in luck or in a higher faith.
The only solution is to stop thinking about that and the only time thinking stops is when one sleeps!!
Agreed that we should take things as it comes and we should really be brave enough to face the failures, but still, at the end of day, there is a sense of desperation and restlessness at heart...
The only thing i hate is, this implies that we have tied too much for that result and hence the stakes are high...But, can't help it...sometimes, some things can only be either make or break...there can't be less percentage or more percentage...
Maybe this is why, it's mentioned in Gita as "Do your duty and don't expect rewards"...Frankly, i guess i have realized that i am after all a human being!
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5 comments:
Why this pessimism?
i think the answer will entitle to a separate entry :)
guess, this is just a phase and this too will pass!
My guess is years later when you look back on this, you will wonder why you were so anxious...But i understand - it is the wait which is hard...
Agree comments above. This would be a post which you will want to keep under the carpet :)
rs,
yes, the wait is the painful part.
guess, i am sure i might end up wondering next year this time itself :)
sujai,
probably you might be right. but the thing is, i just really wanted to vent out my frustration in a post...and it felt good because nowadays writing really seems to help in thinking quite clearly.
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